Archive for December, 2010

Visibility Mildly Limited By Science
December 7, 2010

Astrobiological discovery changes our search for evidence of life! A new bacterium was found. Ho hum.

We could still go forward with voyages to Mars! If we accept budget cutbacks making it a one way trip. Yawn.

New scorpion/spider hybrid discovered!! It lives only in a cave in Yosemite and is half an inch long.

Someone wake me up when I can start giving a crap.

Look, in a way, it’s not your fault, Science. Your rich, drunk cousin, SciFi, goes around town getting sloshed and partying and telling everyone all kinds of grandiose lies about your family that you couldn’t possibly live up to.

But, dammit, it all sounded so good we really wanted it to be true. The flying cars, the time machines, the growing and shrinking, all of it. Hell, I should be writing this while watching VR projected into my brain, from a suite in a hotel on Mars that I’m sharing with my robot girlfriend. But, alas, I’m not.

You’ve tried, I know. But even your attempts, your jetpacks & hovercraft, your cybernetic suits, your holograms, seem lackluster.

So step it up, Science. I’m pretty sure the first dinosaur clone comes along and all will be forgiven.

But make it snappy.

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