Archive for the ‘atheism’ Category

God’s Oscar Plan: Get Matty the Gold!
March 3, 2014

Matthew McConaughey thanked God for his Oscar, and attributed the “blessing” to actions of “no human hand”.

This was all part of God’s plan for him, see? You can see it, plain as day, if you think about it. It’s a pretty long term effort, all in all. Over 30 years of step by step manipulation to get his pal Matt that much deserved Oscar.  Here’s how I think it might have gone:

1) G gets crafty with it, creating HIV, a virus capable of crippling the human immune system and leading to AIDS, a condition where one’s collapsed immune response leaves him or her vulnerable to even the mildest infection.

2) Now for the dirty work.  Infect humanity with the virus, and confound efforts for a cure.  This part takes the most attention and effort, but hey, if it gets Matt that statue, it’ll all be worth it.

3) Take Plan Matty Gold to the next level! Allow pharmaceutical corporations to use their vast wealth to control the US’ Food and Drug Administration, keeping dying patients from exploring medicines which don’t line their pockets with cash. BOOYAH!

4) It’s all starting to come together now, bitches!  Because of the aggressive pursuit of the FDA, “Buyers Clubs” attempting to get unapproved medications into the hands of patients will collapse.

5) Hard part’s over! Big G on the home stretch. Simply wait around while over 30 million people are killed worldwide.

6) Give the idea of making a film about AIDS Buyers Clubs to certain filmmakers, and make sure the film gets made.  Easy peasy for the guy who came up with things like skin lesions.

7) Ensure the casting of My Boy Matthew.

8) Presto! Give that man his Little Gold Statue and DO THAT HAPPY DANCE!

Alright, alright, alright!  Not a human hand to be found in any of it.  God’s in the house and all is right with the world!

Congrats, Matt!

-JDC

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Quote: Doug McLeod
January 17, 2013

I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence

Quote: Sonia Ibarra
January 3, 2013

Truth is my god, and I will have no other gods before it.

 

Why Can’t Atheists Stop Talking About Atheism?
December 19, 2012

I hear this all year ’round, but it’s particularly well-used around the holidays, when Christians in the US start to really feel their own privilege and attack just about anyone that doesn’t have Jesus tattooed on their face.

“Why can’t atheists just stop talking about atheism? Why do they have to be “in your face” about it all the time?”

I have several actual answers to this question, and then a follow-up answer on how you’ve imagined the whole damn thing.

Now personally, I live in Texas, where atheists are few and far between and we live in very hostile territory.  But even nation-wide, atheists are a rare breed.  Since we are so rare, it can be difficult to find others to talk to about our philosophy of following evidence and reasoning over superstition and ancient dogma. In fact, many of us believed when we were kids that we were the only ones.  I can remember getting kicked out of Sunday School because I kept asking questions and pointing out that the answers given made no sense.  Because of this loneliness and isolation, when we do find others who think like us, in person or in internet forums or social media, perhaps we overcompensate.  But it’s very nice to find you are not alone in what can, at times, seem like a crazy crazy world.

Some atheists are former believers who have come to realize that what they have been taught all their lives is simply a glorified mythology.  Those atheists experience a kind of conversion fervor, and just like religious converts, they feel so happy and right about it that they want to share that with others.  They want to talk about it and try to help others see what they have seen.  I can’t blame them for their enthusiasm, but I can see how it might annoy believers, just as believers trying to convert me would irritate me.  Look, I sympathize, but trust me, they’ll calm down eventually and settle in to their new outlook on life.  Be patient.

So there you go, a couple of reasons why you might hear atheists talking about atheism a lot.

Only you won’t really hear that.  More than likely, you’ll almost never hear it.  The reason you won’t hear it is because it’s drowned out by the non stop expressions on belief given by believers all day, every day, everywhere they go, and in every single thing they do.

When I wake up and check Facebook in the morning, I get to read the daily religious affirmations of every believer I know.  I turn on the television and am greeted by television shows with religious themes, commercials for Christian services, news showing political figures who are all believers and all discuss the effect of God on their lives.  Every radio show is brought to me believers who tell me every good thing that happens is by the grace of God.  This includes morning shows and musical broadcasts.  I pass churches on every street, with Biblical quotes and other affirmations.  Bumper stickers on a vast majority of cars are emblazoned with expressions of belief.  When I enter a business there are Christian samplers and religious symbols on the walls.  My local donut shop has an open Bible on the counter, turned towards me.  People wear religious t-shirts or carry expressions of belief.  They talk about it openly everywhere.  If someone sneezes, another person will say “GOD bless you”, sometimes putting a strong emphasis on the word ‘God’.  When I leave, I am told to have a blessed day.  Recently, I gave a co-worker of mine some advice she thought would really help her.  She told me I should be a minister.

I never stop to ask any of these people why they feel the need to be so “in my face” about their beliefs or why they talk about God non-stop.  That is considered normal and perfectly accepted behavior in society.  It is I who am the odd one.  I am afraid to talk about being an atheist or to let people know it.  I would never wear clothing that proclaimed it, and I wouldn’t DARE to show it on my car.  When my co-workers talk about God or church as they do every day, I can only smile and nod. I dare not give my opinion.  I don’t know any other atheists in my daily life, and it’s possible this is because others are afraid to say anything either.

Trust me, we are not going around talking about atheism all the time.  We bend over backwards to never be “in your face”
about it, while tolerating a never-ending onslaught of religion every day.  So if you happen to have found a tiny pocket, a safe haven where a few atheists feel comfortable finally lowering their guard enough to give their opinion on something, give them a break please.  We only want a tiny semblance of the comfort you have every day.  We’re not trying to take it away from you, and clearly, we couldn’t make a dent in the mountainous privilege you enjoy, even if we tried.

Sound fair to you?

Subjective Morality
April 1, 2012

Quote: Woody Allen
February 26, 2012

Not only is there no god, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Quote: Bill Hicks
February 24, 2012

People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.

Quote: Jim Crawford
February 24, 2012

Man has always required an explanation for all of those things in the world he did not understand. If an explanation was not available, he created one.

Quote: David Viaene
February 23, 2012

Gods don’t kill people. People with Gods kill people.

Quote: Richard A. Weatherwax
February 21, 2012

You do not need the Bible to justify love, but no better tool has been invented to justify hate.