Year of the Dave
December 31, 2012

For another look into my Clarketacular Life and how I intend to make 2013 my most Clarketacular year yet, please follow my new tumblr blog “Year of the Dave”.  I’ll still be posting my political and atheistic ramblings here, this will be a fun look at the year 2013 and how I intend to go after it with everything I’ve got!


Knocked Up White Dudes: How Gender Inequality Can Be Defeated By Science
February 9, 2012

Somewhere, a bell just rang.

The recent controversy over regulations on insurance providers has again brought to light the issue of the availability of birth control. The Catholic Church, despite the fact that the vast majority of its membership (at least here in the US) use birth control, is against it, and doesn’t want to provide it to the employees it insures.

At the same time, the fight over abortion remains at a fever pitch, with a major topic in this year’s Republican primaries being the candidates’ stance on abortion rights. Rick Santorum, the current front-runner, is on record as saying he is against abortion even in the cases of rape and/or incest.

The persistent lie in these cases is that this is a moral issue, that these people and institutions are fighting against sin. But let’s look at this honestly. The Catholic Church (and let’s ignore for the moment the truly heinous things we know of it) still does not allow women in positions of leadership. Of course it advocates they not use birth control or get abortions. The more unwanted pregnancies women have, the more they will have to shift plans from careers, or getting an education and learning how to recognize that the Church itself has been keeping them down for centuries and doesn’t plan on changing that anytime soon!

These are clearly positions created by men and fostered by men. Men don’t like it when women are able to enjoy sex more, know more, or make more money than they do. In short, men don’t seem to want women to have the same opportunities that they do.

It’s about power.

They don’t want women to have the power that has been the exclusive province of men for thousands of years. And the fact of biology has provided them a major tool in their cause of keeping women beneath them. Women have the babies, men don’t. They are able to walk away from an unwanted pregnancy and go back to living their lives, where women are denied that privilege. And unless you’ve given up a child for adoption lately, please spare me the speech about how that is the solution to all life’s ills. That doesn’t erase the nine months of pregnancy, the time away from school, or work, or the judgment women face from those around them. And in most circumstances, its horribly difficult to give up a child. The parenting bond is strong, and most women will stay in poverty rather than abandon a child.

Men have also used the perception of women to leverage things in their favor, branding women as “sluts” for enjoying sex, and shaming them into accepting their status as homemakers, caregivers, and willing objects of men’s desires. And I am not saying that women choosing to be ANY of those things is wrong. I’m saying that the strategy of men is to make it the default position, so that women don’t end up there as a matter of choice. Women should have the same opportunity to choose that men have, then if they choose to stay at home, so be it, but they could also choose to be CEOs and Presidents and Archbishops, the same way men do. Right now, not all those choices are available to them.

Women have been trying to right this inequality for a long time, and on many fronts have succeeded in making great strides. After all, our Founding Fathers, about whom you often hear people talk as if they were deities to be worshipped, didn’t want women to have the vote. They didn’t want women owning property or holding political office. But women do all those things now. (Don’t often hear politicians talking about rolling that back to the way the Founders intended either, do you?)

The main way women have been fighting this is by attacking the financial responsibility of men for their children. That’s been largely successful, changing divorce laws and branding “deadbeat dads” as a major societal ill. These are important shifts in perception and policy, and should rightly be lauded. But it doesn’t solve everything. What about the fathers who can’t be found, or held to account?

Women have been gradually moving into more and more positions of political power, which is the main reason we have seen laws change. But they are still held out of positions of power within the Catholic Church, to name one, and many other religious institutions. Until they can reach those audiences, religious restrictions will not change, and that seems a long way out. Women dying in back alleys from botched abortions can’t wait that long.

I propose that women attack the problem from a new angle, one where they already have the needed skill to begin to see it through: science.

Figure out a way to get men pregnant.

I don’t mean to change their DNA so they have female reproductive organs, no. I’m talking about a way to surgically allow a pregnancy to be transferred to men and have them carry the child as women do.

I promise you, if men could be pregnant, the entire controversy would vanish. Every argument about sin would dry up and disappear. Companies would jump on producing birth control with the same fervor and television marketing zeal that they currently apply to Viagra and Cialis. You’d see morning after pills advertised during every prime time show. You’d see abortion clinics run in franchises like car dealerships and fast food chains. The day a copy of “Knocked Up White Dudes” is available at your nearest adult video store, birth control and abortions will be available at the gas station next door. One pregnant white man would change the worldwide landscape of gender inequality overnight.

Women are already working as scientists and chemists, operating labs and advancing the frontiers of the human race. I’m saying to all of you, take this struggle into your laboratory. Figure out a way to do this, and no one ever need worry that men and women will have unequal protection in this country again.

Politics started this fight, now science can finish it.

You heard that bell, right? Now fight.

December 20, 2011

The Old Testament is the rich, drunk uncle of Christianity. They want to turn to it when they need something but distance themselves from it when it embarrasses them.

J. David Clarke